You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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