My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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