help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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