I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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