why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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