READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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