May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize