On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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