Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize