She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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