8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
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if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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