so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
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Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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