i think my tv is drunk
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
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I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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