I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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