he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize