And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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