The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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