took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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