Well douche your snatch and let's go!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize