once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
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My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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