fuck your aforementioned shoe
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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