So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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