So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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