he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
be right there i have to get my cape
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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