I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize