I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
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he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
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I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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