I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
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I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
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I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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