I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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