so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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