I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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