I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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