she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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