let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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