at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
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apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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