Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize