I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
So. Much. Porn.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize