How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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