Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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