my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she peed on how many people?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
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Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize