I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize