She's JV to your varsity
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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