I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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