According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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