connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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