Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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