It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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