He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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