Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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