I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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