May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize